Exposed Zipper

          Normally, I have a major problem with zippers, especially those of the invisible variety, especially when they have been sewn into the sides of adorable dresses. For some reason, my body has been blessed with a pretty wide ribcage. This is great for the deep breathing in my yoga classes, or when I want to hug someone tightly. Unfortunately, when the rest of my figure fits into Size A but my ribcage forces me to wear Size C, this blessing starts to feel like a bother. I'll be in the fitting room, trying on a flirty frock that from three sides looks perfect but from one side looks like the victim in a slasher movie, the large pale expanse of my left torso exposed, the open zipper becoming a vicious, laughing mouth.  I jump up and down, pinching the small sliver of a pull between my thumb and forefinger but no amount of non-existent upper arm strength will help it budge. If, on the very rare occasion that all of my Herculean efforts do result in upward motion, I then have a new problem on my hands: how do I get out of this jam?  More than once have I ripped the seam in a dress beyond repair, placed the dress back on the hanger, handed it to the fitting room attendant, and got the hell out of Dodge. It's not something I'm proud of but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do in order to not spend spring in last season's styles.
          So, what's a wide-ribbed lady to do when she needs to close her clothes? Buttons are great but can appear out of place or lead to unsightly gaping, and snaps lead people to think you are approximately four and a half years old. One could got the tied-and-tried-and-true route of corseting but let's be honest: if you're wearing a top made out of bits of boning, lace, and silk ties, it's not meant to stay on for very long. In a state of hopelessness, I had adopted a style I like to call Depression Chic: dowdy pullovers and elastic-waist cheerleader shorts. I decided that if the world wasn't cutting dresses for my shape, it obviously wouldn't miss it when covered up in sweatsuits. 
          Enter the Exposed Zipper. 
          A lot of people think displaying the hardware, the constructing elements of a garment results in an unpolished and unfinished piece. They believe the beauty is all in the fabrics, the way something looks on a body. And for the most part, they're right; as the old adage goes, "the clothes don't make the man, the man makes the clothes." However, in my educated opinion, an exposed zipper is more than just a tool left out in the open air. It's an accessory, a game-changer. It adds a metallic, industrial touch to what otherwise could be a demure skirt. In a practical sense, an exposed zipper tends to be sturdier, similar to those found on blue jeans and army issue jackets. They close, and close well, and their pulls are easily seen and grasped. They're surprising, especially when attached to classic staples; for months I lusted over a simple black dress that boasted a shiny gold zipper down the full length of its back. This brings me to my next point: exposed zippers are sexy as hell.  Theoretically, in one swift motion you could be naked, which also makes them dangerous and a bit seductive. They're a dare for both the wearer and all those who encounter her. 
          But one of the best things about exposed zippers? Everyone can wear them. No, seriously. You could go super subtle, showing off small zippers on the cuffs of your coat or the ankles of your cigarette pants. More and more designers are featuring small, zippered pockets on particularly understated tops. Fall boots showcase zippers running down the length of the calve, hinting at equal parts retro (an homage to seamed tights) and equestrian. And if you think you are ready to take the plunge into longer lengths, you have my full approval.  You can shake up your look while taking comfort in the fact that  it'll stay closed and keep you covered. That is, only if you want it to...