Halloween

          True Life: I Celebrate Everything. In my opinion, there are more than enough people who's sole directive in life is to bring the party down. They stand in the dim corner, arms crossed, complaining about the shitty beer/music/decor (which really isn't all that shitty). You can spot these types from miles away: permanent scowl, shifty eyes, the smell of cynicism wafting around like a storm cloud. Fortunately for all of my friends, I am the exact opposite. I'm the girl throwing this extravagant, metaphorical party. I'm buying the crepe paper, balloons, and color-coordinating cups and plates. I'll spend hours baking the three-tiered theme cake. You'll leave my party covered in glitter, and digging through your own personalized goodie bag. And why shouldn't I go to all of that hypothetical trouble? Even though we are constantly bombarded with news of bombs and breakups, disease and destruction every day, I like to keep in mind just how lovely everything can be, and share this rare knowledge. You won the lottery? Time to break out the Dance Party Mix! Got the dream job? No Hamburger Helper for you tonight! We're going out for Stuffed Crust! You scored my favorite, thinly sliced bread 2-for-1? Come upstairs. My lingerie drawer has plans for you.

          All this taken into consideration, the months of October, November, December, and January are chock full of reasons to celebrate. The changing scenery, the new stock of knitwear in department stores, the colder weather (which leads to great things like cuddling, hot chocolate, and electric blanket forts), and pumpkin-flavored everything. In addition to all of these beauties, there are also so many holidays during this time. Most of them are days meant to be spent with your family, sipping on noggy adult beverages, eating a delicious home-cooked meal, opening presents, watching parades and dog shows, and thinking about all of your blessings. One of them asks only that you get dressed up, devour candy, and get incredibly weird.

          This is why I love Halloween. What other holiday places more importance on what you wear, and how convincingly you pull off said look? Easter? Memorial Day? Valentine's Day? (Well, I guess that depends on your interpretation of "pull off said look"...) I don't think so.

          Halloween fires up my fashion creativity in ways everyday dressing could only dream of. I don't normally resort to the pre-packaged, party store creations. While they might be great for guys and children, women and mainstream costume design seem to be at odds as to what Halloween is about. For example, a woman might think, "Yo, I just want to be Little Red Riding Hood. I need a dope cape and a cute little basket. Maybe some Mary Janes." Unfortunately, the costume designer normally interprets this request as, "Tits. I want to show them off." And for some ladies, this is fine, this is exactly what they want to wear. At night. In the middle of fall. When they will probably be outdoors for a significant amount of time. And I'm not going to say I don't like a good, sexy costume. I do. A lot of my recent Halloween personas have had a touch of the ha-cha-cha. I'm just saying there are ways in which a girl can do this without involving latex, which is why I think it best to search for costume elements that fit your own style, comfort level, and body proportions. I'm sorry but poorly made Sexy Paramedic was not meant for a pear shape. Or any shape, really.

          Another way Halloween can really push the style envelope is through which costume you choose. If you go with a pop culture reference, it gives you the room to play dress up in your favorite icon's closet. This can then lead to personal style exploration outside of October 31st. While pretending to be so-and-so, did you find his or her sense of flair comfortable? Could you work those elements into everyday wear? If you choose a fantastical or horrific costume, you have to stretch your imagination beyond any realistic expectations: how do I take this denim jacket, silk scarf, and felt beret and transform it into a kick-ass shewolf costume? My favorite type of costume is the clever costume. Not only do you have to find the parts, put them all together, and then have people understand the joke, you have to first come up with the concept, which takes major cojones. I was going to dress up as Hip Bones this year but ran out of time. The costume consisted of a skeleton costume, paired with Ray Ban glasses, a floppy knitted beanie, an iPod full of Fleet Foxes, and a bored expression. Good God, sometimes I crack myself up... 

          However, as with any outfit, the most important thing to keep in mind is not what you're wearing but how you are wearing it. No one is going to believe you're Honey Boo Boo if you don't commit to the unpredictable head-bobbing and dizzying accent. You're not a panda bear unless you eat everything at the party, and then fall asleep. And if you want to dress up as a wizard, you better be trying to levitate me at some point. This year I went as Black Swan but knew the look wouldn't be complete without my White Swan counterpart, and murderous gaze (as seen above).

          I've been to some pretty lame Monster Mashes, full, of attendees who just didn't understand the wonder, the whimsy that is getting dressed as someone else for the night. They had no imagination, no spunk, and were just there to get drunk. In other words, they were Halloweenies. And in my world, Halloweenies don't get candy. Dress up, get candy, be awesome.