Now, before you go pulling pictures off of my Facebook as proof that I have dabbled in these dark arts from time to time, let me explain myself. Yes, I have worn readers, creepers, cut-up cat shirts, and things with a mustache motif. Men and women of the jury, I plead guilty. Fortunately, deep down inside I knew how awful, how unnatural everything appeared. Junior and senior years of college were no picnic for me. I ended up putting a lot of stock in how I looked, and how much people liked me. Stupid, I know but that's growing up, kids. I wanted to do everything possible to fit into this mold others built for me, this quirky pixie girl who ate like a bird and had a ridiculous sense of style. They thought me a magician: give Jojo a shitty piece of clothing and she'll wear it like it's Givenchy. It became a game of Truth or Dare between Me and Them, with me telling all the lies but completing every challenge. At the time, I was dating someone at the who (now that I can view it retrospectively) really didn't like me; he liked that I was so complacent. He liked that I tried so hard to become his dream girl, a surly model who just stepped out of a Urban Outfitters or Free People catalog and had Emma Stone gravely voice. I wore stupid, silly, and downright ugly things because I felt I had to.
Fortunately, like old clothes, one can outgrow bad habits, negative thoughts, and horrible people. I look back on photos from those years and think, "Why did I spend good money and precious time on that outfit? I look like I don't care, like I'm homeless and this ugly animal face shirt is the only thing I have to my name." It makes me sad but what's worse is that people are still wearing this junk. And they're not wearing it in a I-love-flying-unicorns-and-that-is-why-I-have-three-of-them-soaring-across-my-pectoral-muscles kind of way. No, no. They are wearing these things because they're the ugliest, because it'll receive attention. Because it's hip.
Since when did dressing like you just stepped out of an American Apparel dumpster become a thing? Why is everyone so gaga for garbage nowadays? It would be different if any of these pieces actually fit the person; normally, these shirts, hats, pants, what have you are enormous. It would also be another thing if these pieces (albeit mammoth in size) were flattering colors/patterns/materials. But alas, this rarely happens. Some believe that neon cheetahs wearing crucifixes is a proper graphic to wear, especially on spandex. If my sarcasm hasn't hit you, let me be blunt. That shit looks awful and makes you look stupid.
I'll try and reign my sass in for the rest of the post but seriously, when did this all start? When did the Hipster Movement transform from flannel-wearing, artisan-coffee-drinking, bike-riding, Fleet Foxes fans into this strange blend of stunner shades, flower crowns, pouty profile pictures, piling sweaters, and #hashtags? When did the modest, artsy/environmental style become so superficial and hideous? Hipsters seem to have their own reasons for donning Member's Only jackets and thrift store mom jeans: they just don't not care what you think about them. Obviously. They are saviors of the discarded items, adopting things that no one else wants, to prove to others an elevated sense of taste. Obviously. In the case of wearing ugly things, Hipsters put them on like armor, as of to say, "Yeah. My shirt has glow-in-the-dark french fries on it. What's it to you? Come at me, bro!" Now, I'm all for self expression. I've said it a million and one times. Honest and true, I knew a kid who loved ugly clothing, genuinely and unconditionally loved them. Screen prints of woodland creatures and camo cargo pants were his thing. So if it's your jam, rock out super star. No one's stopping you, not even me. However, if you're throwing on that Aztec print button down shirt just show people will notice, then we have a situation on our hands.
In a way, I believe the overuse of ugly items is degrading in a similar way to the overuse of club wear. For example, if one sees a lovely girl dressed in a teenie weenie cocktail dress, five inch heels, hair teased out to there, and the entire Sephora store on her face, the assumption might be made that she's a slut to some degree. I only use that term to illustrate a point: this girl could be a church-going, Harvard graduate who has just been influenced by too much reality and gossip magazines. She thinks this is what attractive looks like, this is what she has to wear to make an impact. In a similar way, what has recently been deemed as "cool," as "hip?" Ugly clothes. Weird prints. Ill-fitting cuts. Unfortunately, since Hipsters have gotten such a bad rep as of lately, wearing items like this can have backlash. Instead of people seeing you as cool, they see you as pompous, cynical, and stuck up. They peg you as someone who makes her own kombucha and has an Etsy shop dedicated to driftwood bird sanctuaries. You become a stereotype, and a badly perceived on at that.
Now, I'm pretty sure some of you are offended at my casual tossing about of the term "hipster." Again, you might even be scrolling through my Facebook, my Tumblr, mouth agape, thinking, "Are you kidding me?? Look at yourself! Look at your reblogs! Look at all those goddamn Peter Pan collars! You, Miss Know-It-All are in denial of your own hipsterdom! Embrace the kitten couture!" I get this a lot. Yes, I have engaged in a lot of incriminating behavior. I listen to She & Him. I drink too much craft beer. I bake strange flavored cupcakes. I'm trying to be a volunteer at Firefly. I work at a yoga studio. I'm diligently working on my vinyl collection. I rollerskate. I understand the confusion. But I think the difference between "hip" and "hipster" is all in the intention. In my experience, Hipsters are generally surly and/or overly enthusiastic about things. They do things purely for show, to become a spectacle. They do things for the Instagram likes. To me, this is more sad than annoying. Think about it: who are these people, really? What are they like beyond the picture? Why do they do the things they do, and what happens when people become disinterested? I never look at a Hipster and think, "Yes. I want to have a conversation with you." If we did talk, I'd more than likely just ask her where she got her shoes.
Having hip tastes doesn't necessarily mean you are a Hipster, kind of like how every square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square. The difference is you actually like what you're doing/wearing/listening to. You find Zooey Deschanel's voice hauntingly beautiful. You don't have a Driver's License so you pretty much have to ride that fixie. You honestly prefer cats to all other form of life. If you honestly love it, do it. Be it. There are no cares in the world you should be willing to give. But tread carefully, my favorites. It's a slippery slope. Once you start liking the cool kid things, you start getting the cool kid's attention. As a lover of the occasional Goodwill sweater and the obscure Forever XXI jumpsuit, I have a lot of practice in balancing my look. I pass along this list of tidbits to prevent you from committing sartorial suicide. There's a difference between street style and street rat.
1.) Mix it up. Things are best in moderation, hip pieces being no exception. If you're going to wear those floral harem pants, pair them with a simple white v-neck, or even a solid cowl neck top. Those boots that appear to be cloven hooves look fabulous at the ends of skinny jeans. A fringed crop top and a high waisted skirt looks fashion forward without being too freaky. If you're worried your outfit is too hip, look at yourself in the mirror and think, "Am I wearing one piece Tim Gunn would call classic?" If not, make the necessary adjustments.
2.) Consider material and fit. I am the proud owner of this gigantic, rainbow striped sweater. This thing consumes me, long enough on my little frame to double as a dress. While normally, this could be seen as a Fashion Don't, it's made out of this amazing cotton yarn that lies flat and smooth. The pigments in the fiber remain vibrant after every wash. It looks good for a gigantic rainbow striped sweater. Similarly, I have this tissue-thin, baby pink gauzy fairy dress. It's only weather-appropriate on that one sweltering day in July but the dress' fit is incredible. Shapeless on the hanger, it drapes over my body as gently as a falling cherry blossom, making me look ethereal. With ridiculous pieces, look for materials that make you feel good and cuts that make you look even better. These factors help balance out the extreme nature.
3.) Consider your motive. Do you really love what you're wearing? Does it make you feel like a better version of yourself? What would your best friend/significant other/mother think about this strange piece? Is this just for a picture, an occasion? Is this a costume? Are you hiding? Do some serious soul searching because, like it or not, an outfit is the first thing people see. Make it a reflection of your inner awesomeness.
4.) Prepare ye the hate parade. People are going to think you're weird. People are going to think you're wearing that for attention. People might even write rude things on your Wall. The important thing is you stick to your guns, baby cakes. If you really love it, that's all that matters. It's your body and your personal expression. A week from now, you may hate those heart-shaped Lana Del Ray Bans. You might look at a picture of you wearing them and think yuck. But for that moment, love what you love. Confidence really is the best accessory, one size fitting all.
No comments:
Post a Comment