Okay, that's not entirely true. I have spent eight of those months working as a restaurant hostess. My job description includes standing at the front of the house, greeting guests as the come in, taking them to their tables, and (seemingly most importantly) looking pretty while on the clock. I'm not kidding; during my hostess orientation I was told I was hired for my smile and my hair. So you see, while I'm grateful for this position and the small but helpful paycheck it provides me every week, I don't consider it a job. A job is supposed to challenge you, utilize your skills and talents, make you feel like you have some sort of purpose, something to bring to the table for society's benefit. What I'm doing now isn't a job, it's just work.
In between hosting shifts, I've taken on a second job: finding a better one. I've spent whole days at the coffee shop four blocks down from my house mooching off of their free wifi, drinking much too much espresso, and scouring the Internet for positions that might put my education to some sort of good. Over these ten months, I've sent out upwards of one hundred resumes and cover letters to promising (or at least kind of interesting) positions. The titles have ranged from editorial assistant to copywriter to fact checker to administrative assistant to part-time receptionist to document copier to au pair to dog walker to yes girl to (unfortunately) hostess. Ten months and countless applications later, I have had two interviews. Two. I'm probably coming off as some sort of entitled bitch but that's not really the angle I'm going for. I just know in my blossoming, optimistic heart that I can do more, that I can be something better. I am not above the string of shitty jobs twenty-somethings are being asked to take. I'm grateful for my current position because I know that I have it better than a lot of people. It just makes me sad that we've all stopped dreaming. We all are settling for the mediocre rather than going after those dreams of grandeur we had as undergraduates. Settling is for Pilgrims, and this is 2013.
The elusive "they" always say to dress for the job you want not for the job you have, and I couldn't agree more. If I'm going to be honest with you (which I always am) I have to say that the search for my interview gear was more stressful for me than the actual interviews. Primarily, it proved to be a reality check that I still had a great deal of growing up to do. Here I was, this pompous post-grad who thought she was so mature, so cultured, so wise because she had read so many large books. I thought my closet was so adult, so chic, so classic with those pencils skirts and silky blouses. I was so ready for the adult world.
But then I started reading. I started Googling "what's appropriate to wear to a job interview," thinking the loving search engine would come back with a jovial, "Oh, ho, ho! What you're wearing is just fine, Jojo! Professional companies totally dig that 1960s vintage crop top and high-waisted, lavender sailor shorts! Just remember to throw on that embroidered cardigan with the rabbits, otherwise you could appear a bit too casual, cupcake!" Obviously, I was wrong. First off, web pages (beyond this one and sometimes HelloGiggles) don't ever use that best-friend-bracelet tone of voice. Ever. The Internet is composed in phrases only Tom Brokaw could narrate. Secondly, I found out that dressing for an interview was supposedly a lot like dressing for private school. There's a code, a uniform to which everyone needs to conform. Otherwise, you'll be put in detention and listed as a juvenile delinquent and never get into that Ivy League school, even though both of your parents went there and you'd be a total shoe-in if it wasn't for your pubescent wickedness. Or, in the case of this comparison, you won't get the job.
I found templates of outfits appropriate for both sexes. Men should wear suits. Women should also wear suits, however with the option of skirt or pants. Unfortunately, men do not have this freedom unless they are Scottish or Irish. If this is the case, they can do whatever the hell they want; those delicious accents are going to get them hired the moment they open their mouths. Both men and women should wear a blue dress shirt; blue is the color most often associated with honesty. However, if one's feeling particularly sassy and confident, he or she could wear a red shirt, which is the color most often associated with power (and sexual energy, if that's the game you're trying to play). Men should always wear ties and women should always wear nasty nude pantyhose. Stick to this code, or you're professionally screwed.
You can see why I almost threw up on my computer. I had heard horror stories of The Man getting you down, turning you into a corporate clone with no feelings and a pure hatred of all things whimsical, but I didn't realize this soul crushing began even before the interview! Luckily, I was born with a pretty strong sense of what's good and what's evil. I tend to thwart injustice whenever I encounter it. What I'm trying to say here is that I'm a superhero. Anyway, I spent an afternoon perusing these step-by-step, dress-for-success, how-to-do websites... and disregarded them completely and wrote this instead.
Okay, that's also not entirely true either. I took into account a few bits and pieces. Basic knowledge such as the outfit should be relatively simple, clean, tailored, and made in a durable material. For my interview, I ended up buying the amazing little black dress you see above. It's made of a thick jersey, which although is not what one may call a "professional" material, the pleating and general construction make it fit like a Brooks Brothers dream. My favorite part of the dress is the trim. It's leather. Wearing leather to a interview (even with as small as the detail is) made me feel like a total badass. That's how interview clothes are supposed to make you feel: invincible. Here's my list of helpful hints to get you there, and get the job:
1.) Do your research. Consider the company you're interviewing with. You wouldn't wear the same thing for a law office interview that you would for a museum curator position. Explore the employer's website; take a look at the company's gallery. If they have photos of their current employees, note what they're wearing and plan your interview outfit to be two notches fancier. If you see someone wearing a pressed shirt and tie, add a jacket. If one is shown wearing jeans and an ironic cat tee shirt, opt for slacks and a great sweater. And you should probably look for somewhere else to work if their current employees appear to be freegans raiding the Urban Outfitters' dumpster.
2.) As always, keep fit and material in mind. What makes you think that someone is going to make you part of their company if it looks like you can't even properly dress yourself? Buying a suit, let alone having it tailored is expensive but one perfect black suit can last years if you take the time to care for it. An interview suit is an investment piece that will be well worth the cost once you get your first paycheck. Also, the material of the suit should look expensive, even if they're just faking it. Keep things clean, pill-free, fresh-smelling, and unwrinkled. Even if you can't afford to do your laundry, an interview is not the time to show and tell.
3.) Men-- shoes match socks match belt match pants. It's really not that hard.
4.) Ladies-- consider length and coverage. By now, you should all know that you're total babes. However, a job interview is not the place to showcase that innate foxiness. The length of your skirt should be to the knee or just below it. Your shoulders, neck, and legs should not all be naked at the same time. Pick two. For me, my dress highlights my legs and shoulders very well, so I kept my neck and chest on the DL by wearing a silk scarf. If you choose to keep your neck and shoulders bare, slip into a pair of opaque tights. Your third option (obviously) would be to employ a cardigan or jacket to complete your ensemble.
5.) Another note, ladies-- heels. Wear them. Not only do they (literally) put you on the same level as a male interviewer, who doesn't think that it takes a truly confident woman to wear high heels in an incredibly nerve-wracking situation? Be that truly confident woman and click-clack your way into that building like you own the place. One day you very well could be CEO.
6.) Smile. Seriously, no one likes a Grumpy Gus. This could be the opportunity that changes your entire life. Get excited.
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